Sunday, March 6, 2011

Think hard, think twice.

Amazing. sometimes i wonder why and i whispered to myself in my heart repeating the same question again and again, "what's next"? and i'm back to the starting point and pounders around slacking, not exploring, my way out. everytime people ask me if i'm alright with it, if i'm prepared already? i've always acted as if i couldn't've been bothered about it but honestly, that's just a way to escape from the reality. i'm really afraid. it's gonna be so fake if i say that i am not interested in it. to me, having high expectations about something has never been great but well, tat's just me. i mean, if i don't expect anything, i don't feel disappointed about it even if it fails right? instead, i could have just accept it calmly. i understand clearly how much effort have i put in and i'm truly aware that i don't deserve anything abv that. regrets? if saying no would make change the fact then i'm willing to do so. but sadly, thing's aren't as easy as it seems, though, it's not tat complicated as well. still, anyway, yes, i would regret at times whether i'm alone or not, but the surrounding sure is good enough for me to think this and think that. yea, the white hairs are growing, rapidly. been thinking too much perhaps? many times, that my mind just went empty and my thoughts went blank. yes, that's the time i declare that i'm defeated, to the limit. ahh, speaking about it, reminds me of the planS that i should have fulfill but it's left undone up till now. yea, it's been such a long time. till the memories are kinda blur already. fading it's way out. far far away. i think i'm having some attitude problemS. am i really tat predictable? why do people figure out my mind so easily while i'ms till trying hard to figure out theirs? so it's true, tat i'm ego. at least, i accept and admit it. it's not something worth to hide though. guess this should be the most heartfelt post, public wise? good thing that noone understands what i'm voicing out. yea, just another bricks of wall that i've built. - this space was original filled with many backspaced sentenceS, but i just don't think it's the right thing to do. -

p/s : catching up animes lately.