There's a gap. That's what i've discovered after being here for 3 months. It's actually a very short time only considering the fact that i've to spend my time staying here for at least 6 years until i'm free to go wherever and do whatever my heart desires. Why am I trying so hard to fit in myself? Sometimes, it's suffocating me just to get used to their typical character. It's often very discouraging especially when i'm still in my doubts about what i'm doing now. But whenever i think about it, there will be another second thought that just pop out and hold me back to whatever that's on my mind. I need to do this, seriously. I have to put an end of all these stuff, but the thing is, i don't know how. Maybe deep inside of me knows just the right thing to do, is just that i'm not willing to take on the risk and bear the consequences. Why are fear holding me back? This bothers me alot and it pisses me off for putting myself in such a dilemma situation. Why do i have hesistation in trying to live a life? All out of a sudden, certain type of relationship seems to be not-so important to me anymore. Just being random, end of story. Watching transformer 3 tomorrow btw.
P/s : "Do you want to meet up?"