Thursday, September 23, 2010

最真實的一面﹐ 最假的一面

這是我第一次用華語寫部落格。 不知道為什麼突然會有這股衝動﹐我想應該是我懷念以前的日子吧。 還是說﹐我在逃避現實﹐不肯面對。 是害怕別人對我的看法嗎? 其實我並不怎麼在意他人的想法﹐ 那是因為我知道他們都不重要。 無所謂﹐反正不論如何﹐終有一天會過去的。 最近都很煩﹐煩著在想﹐我到底要幹什麼。 就我認識的朋友﹐他們都有自己可以奮鬥的目標。而我呢? 停留在自己的幻想世界中﹐浪費了那麼多的時間﹐到頭來﹐才發現自己還在原地﹐一步也沒有前進。我常常問自己﹐到底是別人影響了我﹐還是什麼其他的原因﹐使我搞地一敗途地呢? 但事實上﹐我自己清楚知道﹐問題在於我。 我沒有恆心﹐我沒有鬥志﹐我沒有目標﹐我沒有堅持﹐我沒有努力﹐我沒有做我應該做的事情﹐我什麼都沒有。 在這世界上﹐我最不希望發生的事情就是令她失望﹐我不要辜負她對我的好﹐對我的期望。 是啊﹐沒錯﹐但是為什麼我總是無法像她一樣﹐放手一博? 我要求不多﹐也不困難。 我只不過要讓她安心﹐放心而已。 這很難嗎? 我不知道。我唯一知道的是﹐我不開心! 我真的真的很不開心! 這句話﹐埋在我心中很久了。我需要的是﹐能讓我談訴心事的人﹐ 認識也好﹐不認識也罷。可是﹐要做到卻實在不容易啊。 表面上﹐我永遠是嘻嘻哈哈的﹐但是﹐在這笑容的背後﹐ 可是掉了多少的眼淚﹐又有誰知道呢? 沒有希望﹐就不會有失望了。 倒不如早點來個了斷﹐ 至少不會傷心難過。 不想繼續了﹐ 都不知道要說些什麼。 大概﹐是我無話可說了吧。 就連我自己也頂不順我自己。 我這回可真的是徹徹底底的輸了。

Monday, September 13, 2010

Simply Comedy

Car broke down. again. that's all i got to say. 7 days gones. raya also over already. what's more? a whole YARD of b.l.a.n.k. homework waiting for me to fill in. and no, i have not started any of it yet. so please don't bother to ask me. blahhh. don't know want to go for resident's evil a not tomorrow. i feel guilty for abandoning my homework. yes, i do. don't doubt me. have some confident on me alright? i'mma g.o.o.d student. but i never bother about them at all until the moment i walk into class and see people siao copying answers. and so, being so considerate of not being a saddist, i decided to join in the fun, copy =) and yea, something to be happy about, jiejie's coming back. and something to sad about, nothing yet. hmm, currently watching an old 2005 korean drama. hais regreted for not watching it that time. what? that show was a hit and i don't think lacking of a viewer, me will actually make any changes. and i don't really like to follow the trend. so, yea. i'm watching it 5 years later. hahahah. Holiday. people tend to complain about it for being boring and all. but i don't see the point of complainning it loh. i mean, yes holiday is boring. especially the part staying at house having shift to use the internet. *that's me.* but still, you just can't deny the fact that you love lseeping all the way till noon and rot your day by simply doing nothing right? compare to the school days, of course. oh yea, i just remember that i haven't doraemon yet this holiday. ahh my short-term-memory is getting serious, seriously. hmm, drama and doraemon, choose one. i pick drama. just have to admit that i'm h.i.g.h watching dramaS. hehes. my holiday ahh? i think the most meaningful and probably the most not embarassing, is to have some real thought about what to do with my sticky notes that i bought. and the fact is, i am still have got no idea with it. but one thing is, i feel like my $$ wasted only. hahahahaha.

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